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Why put the gun to your head,
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| | Current Music: | Flaming Lips: All we have is now | | Time: | 10:53 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/sob.gif) lonely |
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| How is it my life is so boring that I have nothing to write about after waiting weeks to write in this damn thing......................
Damn it. | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment   |
| | I do not believe in love anymore. It has never helped me, so there for I dismiss it. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I do not know what the hell is wrong with me. I just feel so damn bad. I do not know what happened. It started last night. I just could not shake the bad feeling out of me. I did nothing. I should have been doing my ap work. Now I have the rest of the day to finish it. I do not think that I will get it done. And yesterday mme and my dad just had to go get his fathers truck. I mean yeah, it means a lot to him and I was happy to do it. but I had stuff planed to do. And I had to push it all aside. But as they say, life will go on.
It took us 3 and a half hours to get that dammn truck. When we finally got it out of the place that it was stored, I started to drive it back to my dad's work. I got on 28 west when blam! it runs out of gas and stalls. Good thing that my dad was behind me, because I would have been los at sea. I think that is where I started to feel like trash. Hammered shit is more like it. But I will do as always, just hide the feelings inside, don't let anyone know about it. Tell them that all is fine. Then one day just explode into a fit of sadness again. Wash lather and repeat. That is mostly what my life is. I think the song Every Day is Exactally the Same can apply. Nothing changes... I just can not find it in myself to change anything. I shall always be this way. A shy kid who can not even ask the simple question....I think we all know what that is.
Damn it to all hell and back... | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| Arikk Billum- Born in Scotland, mother died in childbirth. Unknown father. Kept in an orphanage in Edinburgh, ran away at age 10. Lived on the streets for 2 years then joined a gang street toughs. During those years he learned his knack for survival and his gruff exterior. Arrested for armed robbery at age 16, sent to prison for two years, then went to England. Joined the British Marine Corps and served a tour of duty, learning many useful stealth and combat techniques. Upon his arrival once back home, he met a former marine colleague who had joined a mercenary agency, and began training. Was soon inaugurated as a secret agent/assassin/soldier for hire, extremely adept at all of these skills. Due to his life of solitary and survival, he is a tough loner, slow to trust others, but is invaluable as an ally. Once he had been kicked out of his former unit, he was quickly snatched up by Stonewall as a reliable second in command
J P Jones- Good fighter. Ladies man. Military background unknown. Was picked up in London in 1989. Very talented with the sword. Is not liked very much by the others. His real only friend is the ladies and the cocaine. He is very good at weaseling out info.
Kit Parker- Demolition expert. Convicted of Arson when he was 15. Was jailed in the yard till he was given a chance to join military. Had exceptional skill with disarming bombs. Started to create his own. Patented the first sticky bomb. Was picked up by Scotland Yard for is infiltration methods. On a mission that was illegal, he misused a exploding device that killed civilians and two members of his unit. Was dishonorably discharged in 1988. Was picked up for his skills around 1989. Though the second oldest in the group, it was said that he was the wises.
Steve Fitzpatrick-Former IRA. Personal and Family life is unknown. Was said to be born for combat. Sharp shooter. Heavy into drinking. Was captured by the Vatican. Supremely tortured. Though he never gave in, his hate for religion was never faltered. After the whole ordeal, he started his own underground group. Though small, then received much air time on news programs. They were well known for the hostage situation of a small protestant church. They were at a stand off with the locals for close to 3 days. The commander of the unit that was to storm the Church was Stonewall Westfall. After the bloody gun fire, Fitzpatrick was hospitalized with a wound. It was then that Westfall came to his room, and gave him an opportunity that he could not refuse. He made him disappear from the records. He was recruited in 1990
Jane Scarpantoni- Former lover of Stonewall. She came up with him in the military. She was not a solider, but the wife of a solider. She meet him at a medal ceremony. She is a genius when it comes to the technological aspect of missions. She is basically the “hound dog” She does the necessary research of where the subject is. She also coordinates the missions and manages the telecommunications of it all. Being still happily married to her husband she still has the connections to the important people in the military. Though there is no love from Stonewall, she still feels that there can still be a spark. You can really say that he recruited her when he slept with her.
Dr. Jacob Rockford- Was a roommate of Stonewall. They were both in Basic together. Were Stonewall was training to be an officer, he was training to be a medic. His fighting skills are very underestimated for being a medic. He flied through his training to become the head of his field. It was only after he was caught playing doctor kavorkin, he was thought of as a asshole. He was dishonorably discharged strait after. Knowing that he would not find work in any other place, Westfall gave him a home. Then he offered him a job……
Jaquan Brown- Street punk of the UK. It is not really known his full heritage. He never had a mother or a father. I guess you could call him a street rat. Living of the streets and what ever soup house he could find. He never had a name till he found a “mother” She was the one that named him and gave him a place to stay. That women was Jane Scarpantoni. She had a soft spot for helping the troubled kids. Stonewall meet him when he was 17 years old. He took the kid under his wing. What can he say, he saw potential in the kid. Thought Jaquan never had formal military training, he was very good at shooting and all around ass kicking. He is a great point man for a frontal attack.
Agent Judas- The U.S. agent that the United States implemented in the group to keep an eye on SAW. Judas ( last name unknown) is a typical United States success story. A Wife, two kids, and a religion, Christianity. He is a very faith driven man. Everything that he does is done according to Gods plan, or so he likes to think. He is very loyal to his country. Mostly just a rookie, he has never seen much of a combat situation, ever.
General Stonewall Westfall- This is a man with a storied history. Born in 1955 from the center of London. Before his 4th birthday Step dad was brutality murdered by his biological Dad. His Dad then ran away. Before he ran, he promised to kill both him and his mom. His Mom took him far away, the streets of New York. They lived in a studio apartment for a good 5 years. It was then where he learned more about the culture of the United States. They got a telegram from the British Police, saying that his Biological dad was found. They were then flied back to Britain for the trial. This is where he meet his dad for the first time. Hearing and Seeing the testimony, he learned to hate the man, as this was the first time that he hade ever heard about his attack. He vowed to be a police officer. Getting through high school with low grades, he went back to London. While getting his degree in Criminal Justice, he was forced to work for shady places to pay for it. In a sting, he was arrested for trafficking and gun possession. Seeing his dream failed, he turned to the only place where he could get help. The military. He moved up quickly in the ranks, after his officers saw his knack for leadership. He was discharged in 1988 after two crisis in action, a physical crisis and a ideological crisis. He sees through the bullshit of working for a single man or group and works for himself for his own cause. He finds others that agree, and start the SAW (Secrete Assassins of the World) Organization, which is officially recognized by the British Government as a peace keeper of the country. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Pretending: HIM | | Subject: | What a time away | | Time: | 10:17 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/happy.gif) refreshed |
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| Wow, I Forgot that this thing was real/\ Man was I wrong. Well, I am back now with a vengeance. Well not really. I just wanted to give some love to livejournal for a bit. It really has been awhile sense I have even looked back at this thing. I really did miss it some, but not really. Boy arn't I just a walking contradiction. Aah hell I have lived like that for quite some time now.
Anywho...Wow Christmas break is almost on its way. I can not wait for that to happen. I am not going to miss school one bit, though I am going to be working all day when I am off. I really can not complain. It is good money, but the people are the worst of them all. I swear we have the king on Mullets, the biggest douche bag of them all, come to our store every day. And he thinks that we like him. Ha. He has got another thing coming. I swear, this is the type of guy that hell would not take. That bad
I am going to be writing a story here soon. It shall be about stonewall Westfall....>I know...Self centered, but I was put up to it. And I really want to write it. Along with that, Me and Adam are going to be working on a comic. It shall be everything that Sherwin Williams is. Not of any goodness at all. I can not wait.....
Well I am done....
Peace...
'Willis' | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Blue in Green | | Time: | 08:44 pm | | Current Mood: | content |
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| | GUESS WHAT. NOthing. w00t. First quarter is almost over now. And I could not be anymore rushed. Thank god for, wait. Nothing to thank........shoot. That just ruined my night | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Life is going okay as it seems. I shall get back to you all with more exciting news. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Avenged Sevenfold:Trashed and Scattered. | | Time: | 02:53 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/annoyed.gif) irritated |
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| THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Brad
2. B-Rad
3. Mr. Willis
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Mr Brad Willis
2.rwestf555
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. too cool for school
2. I am very east to get along with
3. I value my friends to no end
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. weight problem
2. indecisiveness
3. shy
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. french (tear)
2. polish
3. german
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. old age
2. having no purpose in life
3. failure in something that I really want
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Music.
2. friends
3. overall computer time
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. my political satire shirt.
2. etneis
3. that is it. not a single thing more
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists[at the moment]):
1. CKY,CKY,CKY,CKY,CKY.
2. Avenged Sevenfold
3. Ween
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. "Tripled Manic State" CKY,CKY,CKY(they need to be repeated over and over again
2. "Trashed and Scattered" Avenged Sevenfold
3. "Happy colored marbles" Ween
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. GO TO COLLEGE(OSU).
2. slap bass. I know it, i just need to get faster
3. drugs??????
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. honesty.
2. affection.
3. trust
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. personality (I know it is not a physical trait, but that is one of the most important thing to me. so screw you all if you have a problem with it...Track 14 will be called attitude)
2. smile
3. eyes.
SAME ABOUT THE SAME SEX:
1. ........
2. ........
3. What is this question asking?!?!?
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. be nice to people I dislike
2. remember things very well. If they are not too important to me, i forget them. Sorry I am polish
3. draw.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Listening to music
2. playing music
3. talking with friends
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Stay at home and not go to work. Today sucked
2. hang out with all my friends
3. wish Ronald mcDonald a happy birthday. They slowly beat him up
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Athletic Trainer
2. film editor
3. ER doctor
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. England
2. Sweden
3. Germen
THREE KID'S NAMES:
1. Lito
2. poot
3. Actually I have no preferences on names. What ever my significant other wants.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Get married
2. Realize that I became what I wanted to be
3. Have too much fun
1. Reply with your name and I will write something random about you.
2. I will then tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I will pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I will say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I will tell you my first memory of you.
6. I will tell you what color you remind me of.
7. I'll then ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your LJ. | | comments: 11 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Avenged Sevenfold: Burn it Down | | Subject: | Update time | | Time: | 03:42 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/blank.gif) blah |
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| | It really has not been a fruitful couple of days, other then my lust to go to college. I am so close to it and i want to leave and start my life over. School has been going very good so far. I am in a bind this week with getting behind in AP gov., but I can pull myself out of it. I always do. This weekend was a little disapointing. I really shall not repeat it, you all know. I have been not getting to sleep very well these past days ad it really is starting to suck. Other then that, that is really the only thing that I have to report on here on the home front. Liebe, wo sind Sie? | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | RAM:Renagads of Funk | | Subject: | Long time coming | | Time: | 07:28 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/confused.gif) curious |
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| | I have not updated this on awhile. I really do not have time to do it anymore. I am usually on some other site that is better *cough Myspace.com *cough. Wow. Well, I just have to update for all my fans that use this and not that other one. School has started and it this year is the best one so far. I love all my classes, with the exception of College Life Skills. It is okay, but it is a very pointless class. But hey it is an easy credit to get. I even got an awesome lunch, which never happens. Well that is really all that I have to say right now. I have to get back to doing nothing, which is my specialty. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Miles Davis :All Blues (Kind of Blue | | Subject: | WIDE AWAKE | | Time: | 01:11 am | | Current Mood: | complacent |
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| Wow, one more day. And I an spending my last night of freedom doing this shit. Ap government all the way. As you can see if is very late and I have three more paragraphs to do, and I have work tomorrow. Woodoo ladies and gentlemen. Well. I will be talking to you when school starts up I guess. I hate school already.
Stay off the cat nip, it gets you in trouble. And I mean it!
I hate politics. It is a wonder why I took a class about it.....
I am going to talk to everyone of you before school starts tomorrow. I will get to you all!
See what summer projects do to you!!!! They Drive you madddddddddd Help me for the love of god HELP ME!
peace out. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | RAM: Killing in the Name | | Subject: | I am back. Sadly | | Time: | 07:16 pm | | Current Mood: | content |
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| | Well I am back in Ohio, and I had a good time. I think....... Well I got some cool shit while I was there and got to have good Germen food and beer.........eheheh just kiding. It was irish beer. But anyways I am back and school is starting. I am 1/4 of the way done with my AP Government summer assignment, I need to get that done this weekend. But other then Andrews party there is not much going on. Ooh and the day I have been waiting for has happened. I have no braces anymore | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | freddie freeloader, Miles Davis (kind of blues) | | Time: | 09:18 pm |
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| | I am going to michigan for 5 days. I know you all will miss me too much but I have to go. I shall talk to you all later. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| | My computer crashed today at 10:23 tonight. It just stoped working and then it started to turn on me with random adds poping up even when the internet was not plugged in. Man I hate computers. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | blank | | Time: | 09:09 pm | | Current Mood: | blank |
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| | Well, some good times were had over this week. Right now I really am to tired to remember them all, so let all of you who read this remember your good times that you had this week, because I can not and really do not want to. Right now, all I want to do is stair blankly into the screen, listen to music and make up bass lines, and if they are good or somewhat musical, I am screwed because I will not remember them..........man school is approaching way to fast. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| The title says it all. I hate family gatherings. Well lets start off with the pre 50th party that I had to endure. We were ordered, not asked, but ordered to go over to my uncles house for pizza and to get hassled for the stupidest things on earth. Right before we left my grandma called on the phone and bitched me out about not looking for a picture of me. That started it. It was a horrid night. And I am not over reacting to any of it. Believe me I tried to talk to people and no one would listen. So I just told myself fuck it and just sat down and watched the people decompose. I think I got about 7 bug bites that night all on the same hand. That left a sour taste for Saturday, but at least my Dad came Saturday. I swear these people are so damn rude and dismissive it is not even funny. I can not see how they are related to me. And they call themselves christians. Last time I checked, I thought that they were supposed to be caring, not total ass jobs. I love it when they act better then you just because they have a religion. What they do not realize is that I do not have one is because of wack jobs such as themselves. Though going there has made me realize something. How never to act towards family or friends. If I ever do that, tell me, or kick the crap out of me. So I will say it again I hate Family gatherings. I will live a better life if I go to no more. I would have rather worked all day in the heat then sit there and wonder who these people were, and why I was there. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Alice in Chains: I Stay Away | | Subject: | Whoop there it is | | Time: | 11:17 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/amused.gif) amused |
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| | Evening all. Wow some good times at the fair tonight. Some crazy ass cars jumping over......jumps.... I am out of words to describe it. It was just fun. I went with Eric to the fair just to waste time in the hopes of finding people to hang out with. We went and looked around at all the stuff that they had to offer. So we went to the, hell I forget the animals that we were looking at and we met up with Emily, one of Eric's friends. Then we soon joined up with Billy and Cole. We just walked around the whole time and then sat down in the air conditioned room, if you could call it that. Then after all that, we sat outside, because it was nice at that point, and watched the crazy ass "rally cars" go on this pussy track and get air. Ooh it was too fun at that time. Got to love what Lebanon brings in for fun. Well I am off. I am off to write song lyrics for our band. Fun times. Good times! | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| 1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
Tom Clancy: Clear and Present Danger.
"all behind us"
2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch?
my speaker
3: What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Fletch
4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is:
11:41
5: Now look at the clock; what is the actual time?
11:37
6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Metallica: And Justice for all
7: When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
3 hours ago. Getting home from bass lessons
8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
My e-mail
9: What are you wearing?
Sherwin Williams work shirt, Jeans, and my cKy hat
10: Did you dream last night?
Nope. I can say that I had the best undisturbed sleep ever.
11: When did you last laugh?
With Jim talking about how my money is a prisoner
12: Last person you talked to on the phone?
A LCNB worker trying to get my direct deposit fixed
13: Seen anything weird lately?
Just you.
14: What books are you reading?
Umm. Not a thing, but that is soon to change with the AP government project that I still have to do
15: What is the last thing you ate?
Pizza at noon today.
16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
Lebanon
17: Tell me something about you that I don’t know.
That is a very open question...that really depends on the person. That is something that you should ask me directly. That is my way of avoiding the question because, now, I really do not want to think. But if you ask me I will tell you.
18: Are you too shy to ask someone out?
at this moment no, but get me when I am not delirious from lack of sleep, then it is a different story
19: Favorite flowers?
Pretty ones..
20: What item in your line of sight have you owned the longest?
My Cincinnati Red cap that I got at my first game when I was about.........put it this way. I was young
21: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you name her?
What ever my significant other wants to name her. I am open.
22: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you name him?
Lito. *shrugs shoulders*
23: If you were dating someone a lot taller/shorter than you, would it affect the relationship?
If they were a couple feet taller, like 2, it would be a problem. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
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Why put the gun to your head,
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bmw_bmw's journal![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/sad.gif){kind=small}
melancholy